Archive for the ‘Emotional Intelligence’ Category

Does emotion help us remember-The role of emotion in memory

March 2, 2007

Does emotion help us remember? That’s not an easy question to answer, which is unsurprising when you consider the complexities of emotion. 

First of all, there are two, quite different, elements to this question. The first concerns the emotional content of the information you want to remember. The second concerns the effect of your emotional state on your learning and remembering.

It does seem clear that, as a general rule, we remember emotionally charged events better than boring ones. 

Kindly link at The role of emotion in memory

Some insight from this article:  

An investigation of autobiographical memories found that positive memories contained more sensorial and contextual details than neutral or negative memories (which didn’t significantly differ from each other in this regard). This was true regardless of individual’s personal coping styles.

  • emotionally charged events are remembered better 

  •  pleasant emotions are usually remembered better than unpleasant ones 

  •   positive memories contain more contextual details (which in turn, helps memory) 

  • strong emotion can impair memory for less emotional events and information experienced at the same time 

  •   it’s the emotional arousal, not the importance of the information, that helps memory 

A small study in which participants performed difficult cognitive tasks after watching short videos designed to elicit one of three emotional states ( pleasant, neutral or anxious), found that mild anxiety improved performance on some tasks, but hurt performance on others. Similarly, being in a pleasant mood boosted some kinds of performance but impaired other kinds. 

This may have something to do with different emotions being involved with different brain regions. 

  •  remembering is easier when your mood matches the mood you were in when experiencing/learning the information
  •  the stronger the emotions aroused, the greater the effect on memory
  • emotions can be evoked, or minimized, by displaying or suppressing expressions of emotion 
  •   different emotional states may impair or help memory, for different memory tasks 

It has also been speculated that age-related cognitive decline may be partly caused by a greater cortisol responsivity to stress.

  • emotion and attention are related phenomena 
  •    emotion acts on memory at all points of the memory cycle – at encoding, consolidation, and retrieval
  • emotion acts on memory in various ways, including the production of stress hormones, use of working memory capacity, and involvement of particular brain regions.

Source: http://www.memory-key.com/NatureofMemory/emotion.htm

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Effective Artciles which align to above article. Kindly link and share your expereince.

~Ajay Singh Niranjan ~

Importance of Emotional Interactions

February 9, 2007

Memory is tied to emotion. We usually remember a situation not because of the facts but because of the how we felt when it was happening. All our thoughts that we had took place together with the emotions we were experiencing. When we want to talk about it to whom it may concern, we want to do it at the time when we were still able to feel the emotions vividly. That is why your emotions are more real than your thoughts. Your feelings are more intelligent than your purely rational and emotion lacking thoughts.

The fallacy of not engaging in communication or to talk it out until a certain amount of time has passed in order to “cool off” is that, those emotions will no longer be as readily felt and therefore whatever you wanted to say is no longer are clear as before. This time, the conversation is no longer as authentic as it would have been if it was allowed to take place when you were still feeling the emotions, because you are not able to say all that you wanted to say. It has to wait until the next time some of the things you didn’t talk about took place again and it triggers the same emotions, then are you able to remember and talk about it.

Don’t you see the incredible stupidity of this? Those who are afraid and too weak to engage in emotional conversations cause the same patterns of undesirable events to happen over and over again because every time the parties involved are feeling the emotions, they don’t want to talk about it. They’d rather wait until another time when the emotions are less strong so that they can talk about it in a less emotional way. The advice of “let’s talk about it after we have cooled off” just doesn’t cut it, especially when it comes to the fact that emotions are the essence of the communication. You should talk about it when you are feeling it! What is there to talk about when you no longer feel it? Other than the usual “Oh, it’s ok now”, “what’s past is past”, “I can’t really remember everything I wanted to say”, there is absolutely nothing!

Can you feel the emotions of how stupid this really is? Well, that is how you will remember all these insights. Sometimes the “common wisdom” of the world may not be truly that wise after all.

But still, the wisdom of “waiting awhile after feeling emotional before expressing yourself” is true in some sense. You should wait for awhile but not too long and not too short. Take enough time to consider your feelings before expressing them so that it will not be a reaction but a response. When you are clear that the thing you are going to say or do is an authentic one, then go ahead and say or do it along with the emotion you are feeling. That is the whole key, to respond instead of to react but to respond quickly before the intention or emotional energy that goes with it dies down and you are left with a weaker response when you make it later.

 Since memory is tied to emotion, you can still remember the things you wanted to say even after quite some time has passed by concentrating of the emotion and allowing the thoughts to return back to consciousness through it. Everything is energy and memory is energy. You have to feel back the energy of the emotion in order to feel back the memory.

Emotion is energy in motion. Perceive your emotion. An emotion can run without your conscious realization until you feel and become aware of it. You can also access the memory by carrying out the same physical motion or putting yourself in the same situation of things in motion around you when the memory formed. You can also do it mentally. You remember by reexperiencing the same energy in motion of the event.

Voicing your frustrations, anger and unhappiness with a spouse or loved one is also especially useful, helpful and liberating. Because after telling all those things, expressing your hurt and saying what you wish to happen and what not to. And that person has listened to you and your feelings and you felt heard, has understood you and feel what you feel, you can then give that person a hug and tell him/her that you love him/her.

Ideal relationships involve becoming authentic in the presence of another person and inviting that person to be authentic as well. This is the high road of relationship. But so long as the motivating force behind our relationships is fear, we will cling to masks even in our closest relationships and then wonder why our experience of intimacy is so empty.

What brings people closer together? The answer is emotion. All emotion is energy in motion. We are all beings of energy and when we experience emotion, we are being moved in one way or another. Whenever you experience an emotion whether positive or negative with someone, you form a connection with that person. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the connection. Emotions can be transmuted from one polarity to another. That is why “intense hate” can come from intense love. When a person you really love does something you really dislike, you would feel “intense hate” about it.

The person you really want to be with is the person who you can feel a lot of emotion with. An emotional relationship with lots of intense emotions experienced with a mix of both positive and negative ones would result in it being highly addictive for you and the other. That is because there will be a lot of creating, building up, experiencing and expressing of emotions. It is like a roller coaster ride that takes your emotions up and down and all over the place. You can feel extreme exhilaration one moment and immense depression the next. You can feel really blissful and contented at one time but then feel really disappointed, frustrated and angry at another time. There is a lot of venting, crying, hugging, comforting, getting pissed off, being in a daze, sighing, rejoicing. It is just so moving, so touching and beautiful and totally out of this world crazy like hell and heaven at the same time.

Truly, what you really feel out of all the insane and wonderful emotional experience is a lot of pleasure. The building up and expressing of emotion is the building up and releasing of tension. Which results in the experience of pleasure.

Pleasure is the psychic result of releasing tension, excitation or stimulus which arises within an organism. Pleasure seeks to culminate, to store up and release. The way to experience pleasure is to build up tension and release it. Pleasure is felt even in the process of building up tension because of an internal release taking place at the same time. There is a kind of pleasure where tension is build up and released at the same time. Feelings, vibrations or resonance are the process of tension and release. Vibrations move in and out, tension and release. Increased magnitude of vibration or combined multiple smaller vibrations results in increased pleasure.

The closest thing to describing vibration and feeling is music. The resonant, the shimmering, the multiple sounds, the sharp and mellow sound combination and the up-down emotional momentum are the most pleasure inducing effects in music and everything else. Pleasure and tension builds up from the energy and rhythm of things in flow. There are two kinds of pleasure that can be felt depending on the kind of vibration being experienced. One is the peaceful, gentle and soothing kind of pleasure that results from a constant and gentle vibration. The other is the passionate, powerful and immense kind of pleasure that results from a resonant and strong vibration.

A lot of things on the outside can control our emotions. Things such as music and love can take over our emotions so readily and fully that it cannot be helped, so there is no need to bother but to simply experience. 

Source :www.mindreality.com

Know thyself – Understand yourself –True Being, Pure Consciousness and Bliss

February 3, 2007

Know thyself – Understand yourself –True Being, Pure Consciousness and Bliss

Know Thyself-A Talk by Sri Chinmoy “Know Thyself”

Atmanam viddhi-Know thyself. Each individual has to know himself. He has to know himself as the infinite, eternal and immortal Consciousness. The concept of Infinity, Eternity and Immortality is absolutely foreign to us. Why? The reason is quite simple. We live in the body, rather than in the soul. To us the body is everything. There is nothing and can be nothing beyond the body. The existence of the soul we consider sheer imagination. But I assure you that the soul is not imaginary. It is at once the life and the revelation of the Cosmic Reality. Most of us live in the body, in the earthbound physical consciousness. Our teacher is Darkness; our professor is Ignorance. But if ever we live in the soul, we shall see that our teacher is Vision and our professor is Illumination.

“Life is effort.” So says the body. “Life is blessing.” So says the soul. The human in man does not want to go beyond morality, society and humanity. The divine in man comes down from divinity into humanity, from unity into multiplicity. 

Atmanam viddhi. Know thyself. The seers of the Upanishads not only discovered this Truth Transcendental but offered it to the suffering, crying and striving mankind. In order to know oneself, one has to discover oneself first. What is self discovery? Self discovery is God-Realisation.

Without Yoga there is no self discovery. Yoga is not a religion. Yoga is the Universal Truth. It is the traditional truth of
India. It is the most important experience of life. True Yoga and life go together. They cannot be separated. If you try to separate them, you will fail. Yoga and life are as inseparable as the Creator and the Creation.

Is Yoga another name for severe asceticism? Positively not. Is Yoga another name for self-discipline? Decisively yes. Does Yoga demand the rejection of the world and the starvation of the senses? No, never. Does Yoga demand the acceptance of the world and mastery over the senses? Yes, a mighty Yes. Is Yoga for everybody? Yes and no. Yes, because each human soul has come from God and inwardly aspires to return to Him. No, because some people, at their present stage of development, feel they can live without God.

Can learning and reasoning offer man self realisation? No. Mere book knowledge ends in self deception. Why? Because a man of knowledge feels that he has achieved the infinite wisdom. Unfortunately, he does not know that the real Infinite Wisdom can come only from God, from God Realisation. Mere mental reasoning ends in self-frustration.

Can dedication and aspiration offer man self realisation? Yes. Man’s dedication is his heart flower offered at the Feet of God. Man’s aspiration is his soul fruit placed in the Lap of God.For self realisation, man needs freedom. God gives him freedom. What is freedom? Freedom is God’s sacrifice-power and man’s miracle-power. Sri Ramakrishna, the great spiritual Master of India, once remarked, “The wretch who constantly says, ‘I am bound, I am bound,’ only succeeds in being bound. He who says day and night, ‘I am a sinner, I am a sinner,’ verily becomes a sinner. One must have such burning faith in God that one can say, ‘What? I have repeated God’s name, so how can sin still cling to me? How can I be a sinner anymore?'”

We must cherish positive thoughts, positive ideas, positive ideals. Only then will our Goal no longer remain a far cry. Each man has to feel, “I am at the Feet of God, my own Master. I am in the Hands of God, my own Creator. I am in the Heart of God, my only Beloved.”

“Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you.” I asked. My Lord bestowed His boundless Compassion on me. I sought. My Lord gave me His infinite Love. I knocked. To my utter surprise, the door was not bolted from inside. My sweet Lord was eagerly expecting my arrival. Lo, I am come!

Source:www.srichinmoy.org

Educationalists all over the world are troubled by the question of moral education

January 29, 2007

……And I think the teaching profession is the highest profession in the world. Though one acquires very little money out of it I think it is the greatest thing. Really I do. Really think that. It isn’t just verbal rhetorical assertion. It’s the greatest thing, because in our hands lie the whole future generation”. Krishnamurti

Question: Educationalists all over the world are troubled by the question of moral education. How can education evoke the deeper core of human decency and goodness in oneself and in others?

Kindly join Indian Teachers forum:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/India_Teachers/

-Moderators: Vikas Nagpal (IITD) & Ajay Singh Niranjan (IITR) 

Krishnamurti: The good is not the `respectable’. The respectable man can never know what is good. Most of us are respectable and therefore we do not know what it is to be good. Moral education can only come, not with the cultivation of respectability, but with the awakening of love.

But we do not know what love is. Is love something to be cultivated? Can you learn it in colleges, in schools, from teachers, from technicians, from the following of your gurus? Is devotion love? And if it is, can the man who is respectable, who is devoted, know love? Do you know what I mean by respectability? Respectability is when the mind is cultivating, when the mind is becoming virtuous.

The respectable man is the man who is struggling consciously not to be envious, the man who is following tradition, he who says, `What will people say’? Respectability will obviously never know what Truth is, what good is, because the respectable man is only concerned with himself.

It is love which brings morality. Without love there is no morality. You may be a great man, a moral man; you may be very good; you may not be envious; you may have no ambition; but if you have no love, you are not moral; you are not good, fundamentally, deeply, profoundly.

You may have all the outer trimmings of goodness; but if you have no love in the heart, there can be no moral, ethical being. Is love something to be taught in a school? Please follow all this. What is it that prevents us from loving? – If you can be taught in the school and in the house, to love, how simple it would be, would it not? Many books are written on it. You learn them and you repeat them; and you know all the symptoms of love without having love. Can love be taught? Please, Sirs, this is really an important question; please do follow it. If love cannot be taught, what are the things that are preventing love? The things of the mind, the thoughts, the jealousy, the anguish, the ideas, the pursuits, their suppressions, the motives of the mind – these may be the things that prevent love. And as we have cultivated the mind for several centuries, it may be that the mind is preventing us from loving.

So perhaps the things that you are teaching your children and the things that you are learning be the things which are at the root of the destruction of love; because you are only developing one side – the intellectual side, the so-called technical side – and that is becoming more and more important in an industrial world; other things become less and less valuable, they fade away.

If love can be taught in school through books, shown on the screen in cinemas, then it would be possible to cultivate morality. If morality is a thing of tradition, then it is quite simple; then you condition the student to be moral, to be a Communist, to be a Socialist, to think along a particular line, and say that that line is the good line, the true line; any deviation from it is immoral, ending up in concentration camps.

Is morality something to be taught – which means, can the mind be conditioned to be moral? Or is morality something that springs spontaneously, joyously, creatively? This is only possible when there is love. That love cannot exist when you cultivate your mind which is the very centre of the `me’, the `I’, the thing that is uppermost in most of us day in and day out – the `me’ that is so important, the `I’ that is everlastingly trying to fulfil, trying to be something.

And as long as that `I’ exists, do what you will, all your morality has no meaning; it is merely conformity to a pattern based on security, for your being something some day, so that you can live without any fear. Such a state is not a moral state, it is merely an imitation. The more a society is imitative, following tradition, the more deteriorating it is. It is important to see this, to find out for oneself how the self, the `me’ is perpetuating itself, how the `me’ is everlastingly thinking about virtue and trying to become virtuous and establishing laws of morality for itself and for others.

So the good man who is following the pattern of good is the respectable man; and the respectable man is not the man who knows what love is. Only the man who knows what love is is the moral man.

Source : http://www.krishnamurti-and-education.org

Buddha as a Leader

January 28, 2007

The Buddha has often been described as one of the greatest leaders of all time. But just what characterizes a good leader? What are the duties and qualities of good leadership? And what can we learn from the Buddha as a leader that we can apply to our chaotic world?

The Leader as Visionary

Like the captain of a ship, a leader must have a definite goal; only then can he chart his course and steer his ship in the right direction. Having given up his royal rights, wealth and family, Prince Siddhartha had one goal – to find the cause of suffering and a way out of suffering. Despite much hardship and setback, he never veered from his course but persevered till he gained Enlightenment.

But the Buddha did not stop there. He made it his mission to lead all sentient beings out of the samsaric cycle of suffering. It is this vision which defined his forty-five years of teaching and shaped his role as leader of an order(sangha) and a following that is still growing strong today.

Guided by this vision, the Buddha’s mission was an all-embracing one. It is a mission founded on compassion and love for all sentient beings, regardless of race, creed or status quo. Addressing his first group of disciples, the Buddha instructed them to go forth and spread the teachings for the good and happiness of the many. In this respect, the Buddha was revolutionary, displaying extreme courage in his advocacy for the emancipation of the persons belonging to all the four castes, in his dismissal of the Brahmin as the supreme authority and in his admission of women to the sangha.

The Leader as Role Model

A leader must be an exemplary figure, someone we can respect and emulate. The Buddha, having purified himself through many lifetimes, embodied all the Perfections (paramita). He was extraordinary, virtuous and righteous in every thought, word and deed. He says as he does and does as he says. Such integrity and consistency won him the trust of his followers.

As a leader, the Buddha led by example. His simple and humble lifestyle is a reflection of his teachings. In his daily routine, the Buddha wasted no time on idleness and frivolity. For forty-five years, he devoted his time and effort for the good of others, starting his day before dawn and working till midnight.  

Compare this with many world leaders who live in the laps of luxury while half of the world’s population suffer from poverty and hunger, and we can understand why many people lament the lack of good leaders in our times. In his advice to the rulers of his time, the Buddha emphasized the importance of leadership according to the Dharma.

A ruler must first establish himself in piety and righteousness, and avoid all the vices. Sovereignty and the rule of power are subjected to the rule of righteousness, not the rule of force. Here is the ideal model of a value-based leadership. The Buddha highlighted ten principles which a ruler ought to be possess:

1. Dana – alms-giving

2. Sila – morality

3. Parricaga – unselfishness

4. Ajjava – integrity

5. Maddava – gentleness

6. Tapo – self-restraint

7. Akkhoda – non-anger

8. Avihimsa – non-violence

9. Khanti – patience

10. Avirodhana – agreeability

The Leader as Mediator

As a leader, the Buddha demonstrated both skills in mediation and impartiality in judgment. In the Ummagga Jataka, as Prince Mahausadha, the Bodhisattva (the Buddha in a previous birth) showed his ability to resolve problems and arguments. As advisor to the King, he displayed wit and intelligence in the protection of his people.

The Buddha displayed his skills at resolving conflicts between opposing parties on several occasions. Once a dispute broke out between the Sakyans, to which the Buddha belonged, and the Koliyas, to which his mother, Queen Maya, belonged. Unable to arrive at an agreement over the distribution of the waters of the river Rohini, the two parties were on the verge of war. The Buddha settled the dispute by asking:”What do you consider as more valuable – water or human lives?”

The Leader as Manager

The Buddha was a great human resource manager. With an acute knowledge of human beings, he knew the strengths and weaknesses of those around him. Based on their dominant traits, the Buddha categorised people into six groups:

1. those lustful and passionate

2. those with hatred and anger

3. those with delusion

4. those with faith and confidence

5. those with wisdom and intelligence

6. those with hesitation and doubt

He delegated duties to his followers in accordance with their abilities and temperament. In addition, he showed his appreciation by conferring upon them due respect and recognition. Trainers of managerial leadership could learn much from the Buddha in this respect to develop an effective workforce.

The Leader as Protector

The Jataka stories, which tell of the previous births of the Buddha, abound with numerous examples of the Bodhisattva’s courage and self-sacrificial spirit to safeguard the interests of his group. In the Mahakapi Jataka, the Bodhisattva in a previous birth was the leader of a troop of monkeys living in the
Himalayas.

One day, the king of the state saw that the forest was abundant with mango trees, set his men upon the monkeys. To flee from the king’s men, the Bodhisattva used some bamboo vines to build a bridge so that the monkeys could cross over to the other river bank. Unfortunately the bamboo vines were too short.

To bridge the gap, the Bodhisattva stretched himself out, clinging on to one side with his hands and the other with his tail so that the monkeys could cross over on his back. Among the monkeys was Devadatta, his arch-enemy. Seeing his opponent in a disadvantaged position, he stamped hard on his back as he made his way across.

The Bodhisattva was in immense pain but remained clinging on to the bamboo vines till the last monkey was safely across. The king, upon witnessing such a courageous and selfless act by such a monkey, ordered his men to bring himdown from the trees and tried to save him. Asked why he endangered his life to save his subjects the Bodhisattva replied:”O King! Verily my body is broken. But my mind is still sound; I uplifted only those over whom I exercised my royal powers for so long.?

After the Bodhisattva’s death, the king in honour his self-sacrificing spirit, erected a shrine and ordered that daily offerings be made.

Another aspect in which the Buddha exercised his role as a protector is in teachings of the Buddha was open to all, in the Buddha’s four-fold party of monks, nuns, lay men and lay women followers, admission was not so liberal.

While this may invite criticisms that the Buddha was prejudicial, it is necessary not for his personal interests but to protect the Buddhist community from corruptive and evil forces and to ensure its long-term survival. The Buddha also set out criteria and rules and regulations, especially the vinaya code, to protect the well-being and order of his community

The Leader Shows the Way

During his 45 years of missionary work, many followers became enlightened after listening to his teachings. 2500 years later, the Buddha continues to inspire millions of people around the world to follow his path. This, above all else, is the most important role of the Buddha as a leader – one who is able to inspire others to bring out the best in themselves, to develop their full potential and gain the ultimate goal of Nirvana.

Author – Ven. Sobhita Thero–advisor of Bodhiraja Buddhist Society

Source : http://www.4ui.com/eart/167eart1.htm 

 

Spiritual Intelligence & Leadership

January 27, 2007

Dear Friends,

What is the true nature of self ? True nature of self is well described in our timeless wisdom of ancient India and we are the leader of leaders in spiritual wisdom. just recall universal prayer: Gayatri Mantra. 

 “O supreme Lord! Thou art ever existence, ever conscious, ever blissful. We mediate on thy most adorable glory, may thou guide and inspire our intellectual, on the path of highest divinity! MAY WE BE ABLE TO DESCRIMINATE? BETWEEN TRUTH AND FALSEHOOD”. –Rig 3 .62 .10

Kindly visit the article. And try to explore your all intelligences for development of Intellectual.

Ajay Singh Niranjan (ajay_uor@yahoo.com )                

              Spiritual Intelligence & Leadership

By Cindy Wigglesworth

Research is finally validating what many of us knew all along – that there is more to great leaders than brains. What research is now validating is that great leaders need to use their hearts and souls, as well as their minds! But let’s begin at the beginning…

In 1905 Alfred Binet and Theodore Simon developed the first modern intelligence test. Since that time we have been debating what “intelligence” is, where it comes from, and how to develop it.

Our “Intelligence Quotient” or “IQ” is generally thought of as our linear, analytical intelligence. Initially it was expected that IQ would be a strong predictor of success in careers. In fact it has turned out to be a weak predictor of success. IQ appears to be related to minimum standards to enter a given a profession. But once you have chosen your career, what actually leads to success is far more complicated.

Daniel Goleman popularized the phrase “Emotional Intelligence” with the publication of his book by the same title in 1995. In his book, Goleman cites research at Bell Labs that examined star performers, and tried to determine what distinguished them from more average performers. It appeared that star performers had stronger relationship skills than average performers. Harvard Business Review published the results of the Bell Labs study in 1993. Business interest in the study of “Emotional Intelligence” or “EQ” began in earnest.

EQ is actually a large collection of skills. Goleman has recently grouped these skills into 4 quadrants as shown below1.

1. SELF AWARENESS

Emotional self-awareness
Accurate self-assessment
Self-confidence

2. OTHER AWARENESS

Empathy
Organizational Awareness
Service Orientation

3. SELF MANAGEMENT

Self-Control
Trustworthiness
Conscientiousness
Adaptability
Achievement Orientation
Initiative

4. SOCIAL SKILLS

Teamwork & Collaboration
Developing Others
Influence
Communication
Leadership
Conflict Management

There is a fascinating relationship among these quadrants. Research is showing that EQ begins in the Self Awareness quadrant. The degree to which we are self-aware literally limits our ability to be aware of others, or to manage ourselves. The last skills to develop are our Social Skills, being dependent on the other 3 quadrants. Self-awareness is dependent on listening to feedback. So a willingness to truly hear others is a prerequisite for high EQ.

It is interesting that Socrates gave the advice “Know Thyself” approximately 2400 years ago. The historical Buddha (roughly 2500 years ago) made the study of the mind (profound self-knowledge) such an elevated practice that it became a major world religion.

So what is the link to Spiritual Intelligence? Dana Zohar, a quantum physicist, gave a lecture at the Science and Consciousness conference in Albuquerque, New Mexico in April 2001. She was working on a new book on Spiritual Intelligence (or “SQ”), and at that time listed 9 characteristics of SQ. The first of Zohar’s points directly echoes the first quadrant of EQ – Self Awareness but goes beyond it to a sense of connection to the universe.

Spiritual Intelligence, according to Zohar, is:

1. Self-Awareness … you know who you really are and you know that you are connected with the whole universe.

2. Vision & Values Led – or Idealism. Children naturally want to serve, and so do we. Vision and values led is definitive of our humanity.

3. The Capacity to Face and USE Adversity…owning our mistakes and adversity and using pain and tragedy to learn

4. To be Holistic: seeing the connections between things. Being open to and interested in EVERYTHING.

5. Diversity…thriving in and celebrating diversity. I look at you and see what is different in you and I say “Thank God for that!”

6. Field Independence (Courage)…a term from psychology that means the courage not to adapt, to be independent.

7. The Tendency to Ask WHY? Questions are infinite. In Quantum Physics questions CREATE reality.

8. The Ability to Re-Frame…put things into a larger context of meaning.

9. Spontaneity. This is NOT acting on a whim…it comes from the same Latin roots as RESPONSE and RESPONSIBILITY. It is not conditioned by fear. It is appropriately “responsive to” the world.

Jim Collins became famous in the world of business with the publication of his first book, “Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies” (HarperCollins, 1994) co-authored with James Porras. In it they described their in-depth research and their conclusions regarding 18 companies that were unique in their reputation in their industry, their resilience through hard times and their financial success over 50+ years. The central conclusion: truly great companies are Visionary and Values driven. This directly echoes Dr. Zohar’s 2nd characteristic of SQ.

In his latest book, “Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t,” (HarperCollins 2001) Jim Collins researched 11 companies who made the transition from being good companies to being “great” companies on par with the companies in “Built to Last”. A key finding was that each company had what he calls “Level 5 Leadership” (see www.jimcollins.com for more information). As I read about Level 5 leaders I realized that they seemed to demonstrate most or all of the characteristics described as “SQ” by Zohar. In addition, they showed a profound personal humility and a powerful faith that they and their company would prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties.

Self-awareness and cultivating inner strength (or faith) has a solid grounding in all of the major spiritual traditions. Jesus went into the wilderness to meditate and to hear the voice of the infinite creator, as did Abraham, Moses and Mohammed. Buddhists and Hindus practice meditation for these purposes as well.

The implications for leadership are clear. High IQ doesn’t guarantee a good leader. High EQ has been correlated with success. But does it alone create greatness? Sustained and recognized greatness, even in the tough world of Corporate America, is obtained by something deeper. If a corporate leader is willing to deeply know herself and her place in the universe, she can reach the graduate school of SQ. With SQ comes the ultimate success – obtaining company success in such a way that customers, employees and society all benefit. And after creating a great company, the high SQ person sincerely deflects all praise onto the “wonderful people of this organization.”

What if EQ and SQ skills became part of the curriculum for all leaders? With solid analysis such as Jim Collins’ leading the way, perhaps that day will soon come.

1  Daniel Goleman, lecture given at September 1999 Emotional Intelligence Conference,
Chicago, ILSource: http://www.innerworkspublishing.com 

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“Know the Atma (Soul) as the lord and the master of the chariot, which is the body. The intellectual you should know as the charioteer. The mind should be known as (merely) the rein. The one whose mind is not harnessed properly, who’s is devoid of proper knowledge and wisdom, his sense organs go beyond the control of the intellect as vicious horse go beyond the control of charioteer”- Kathopnishad

The Power of Feelings-An Interview with John P. Kotter

January 27, 2007

This is a very nice conversation between most influencial management thinker John P. Kotter and leader to leader about power of feeling in process of change. 

 

Kindly link this wonderful interview of John P. Kotter, Harvard
Business School professor at leadertoleader.org.

The Power of Feelings : An Interview with John P. Kotter 

An Excerpt:

L2L: Intellectually, then, people may realize the need for change, but still not do anything differently.

JK: Yes, because they don’t have the passion to break out of their habits. It’s tough to break habits. Ask smokers. The momentum from history — from how we’ve always done things — can end up making our future look like our history.Overcoming complacency is crucial at the start of any change process, and it often requires a little bit of surprise, something that grabs attention at more than an intellectual level.

You need to surprise people with something that disturbs their view that everything is perfect. Take one story we have in the book, the “Videotape of the Angry Customer.” (See sidebar) People who saw that video were caught off guard. Their mouths dropped open in surprise. Successful change leaders show people what the problems are and how to resolve the problems. They use things that people can see, hear, or touch. This may mean showing a video of an angry customer rather than a report of a customer survey. Change leaders make their points in ways that are as emotionally engaging and compelling as possible. They rely on vivid stories that are told and retold. You don’t have to spend a million dollars and six months to prepare for a change effort. You do have to make sure that you touch people emotionally.

7 ways to improve your social skills

January 27, 2007

In today’s world, social skills at work are as essential as hard skills and business etiquette.Not everyone, however, is endowed with good social skills. If you happen to fall in this category, do not worry. Social skills can be developed with a little practice and they will go a long way in boosting your career.

 iPractise taking instructions

This is easier said than done. Most of us think we already know what the other person is trying to say. Secondly, we may be preoccupied with other thoughts when our boss is instructing us on how to go about a certain task.

As a result, we may forget important details and make mistakes that could cost someone their job. Remember these points:

~ Listen carefully for things said and implied.
~ Clarify.
~ Understand what has been told to you.
~ Acknowledge that you have understood.
~ Reconfirm instructions by quickly summarizing what you have understood.

iiPractise explaining a problem to your supervisor/ boss

Do you feel butterflies in your stomach the moment you encounter a problem and need to involve your boss? Do you worry that s/he might think you are incompetent to handle it yourself? 

These feelings are quite justified. However, you still need to explain the problem to your boss. The secret lies in the term ‘explain’ and not ‘complain’.  To explain effectively, pay attention to:

 ~ The volume of your voice and tone. It should not be too soft, loud or screechy. ~ Be respectful.~ Keep your emotions in check. Be calm. You may be flustered by the problem; however, you don’t need to let your boss know that. ~ Remember to include all the facts of the problem. Try to find most of the answers yourself before approaching your boss. ~ Offer a solution if you can. Your boss will appreciate your initiative.

 iiiPractise asking for help

There are times at work when we are so overwhelmed by the things that need be done that we get all worked up and stressed out. We still do not ask for help, for fear that we might be perceived as incompetent. However, when you have a task at hand that must be completed and you know you cannot do it alone, you have to be humble enough to ask for help.

Identify people at work who handle a particular task better than anyone else and request them to help you if they have the time. They may be happy to help. Also, remember:

 ~ No man is an island. We all need people and people need us. 
~ Two heads are better than one and, yes, four hands are better than two.
~ It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice. Help others; they, in turn, will help you

~ Be gracious when you accept or refuse help. This will enhance your chances of building a strong support system on which you can depend when you need help.

 ivPractise accepting feedback

It is natural for us to become defensive when we hear anything negative about ourselves. However, have you considered it might be just as difficult for the person giving the feedback to be candid?

Besides, it is possible for others to see things about you that you may not even aware of.

 ~ Appreciate the fact that someone has taken the risk of giving you feedback. ~ Be open to new ideas and new ways of thinking. ~ Don’t take criticism personally because, even though it is about you, it is still the other person’s perception; his or her views need not necessarily be the ‘real’ you. ~ Feel free to accept or reject all or any part of the feedback without feeling obliged to explain your choice.

 vPractise giving constructive criticism

The word criticism spells doom for some. It need not be that way. There are two types of criticisms — constructive and destructive. All of us have been at the receiving end of these types of criticism at some point in our lives.

It depends on what you are criticising in a person and the purpose of the criticism. If the objective of criticising is to demean and insult a person, it would be destructive criticism. Such criticism is best ignored.

Do remember, the situations that bring about the need to criticise can become sensitive and volatile. It is easy for the person criticising, as well as the recipient of the criticism, to overreact and start accusing each other.

Giving constructive criticism and seeing that it is well received is a fine art. Things to remember:

 ~ Stay focused. Don’t confuse the person with the problem.
~ Keep tempers down.
~ Use a suggestive approach rather than a dismissive one. ~ Reiterate that the person is good but the problem could be handled differently. ~ Be sincere, honest and caring while giving constructive criticism. ~ Express your faith in the person and his/ her ability to successfully implement and reap the benefits of the suggestions given.

viPractise receiving compliments

Many of us are especially wary or shy when someone compliments us. Why? Do we think we don’t deserve  compliments? That we are not worthy of them? Or is it plain modesty? Whatever it is, it is time to get over it. We need to understand that accepting compliments is not self-indulgence. So:

 ~ Don’t feel embarrassed and brush it off.~ Never counter it with something negative about yourself.~ Don’t be arrogant; accept the compliment graciously.~ Smile and thank the person for the compliment. Express genuine happiness.

 viiPractise giving complimentsI have very often heard people saying, “She is excellent at her work but, if we tell her that, it might go to her head.”

This may not always be the case. It depends on how one is complimented. There is a delicate line between flattery and genuinely complimenting someone.

If you keep these suggestions in mind, you can easily compliment someone without sounding fake:

 ~ Use simple language. Smile and look into the person’s eyes while complimenting him/ her. It sounds more genuine this way.~ Using filmi dialogues and a lot of actions could make it look like your aim is to flatter, not compliment.  ~ Modulate your voice to match the expression of admiration on your face.~ Don’t laugh or giggle while complimenting someone. It could sound like you are being sarcastic.

Finally, remember a good social network will help you at work.

You need social skills to find a job and to keep one. So, if social skills do not come easily to you, it will be well worth your time to pinpoint your weaknesses and work on them.

                                         – by Anita D’Souza (source: Rediff.com)

Fulfilling Your Dreams with the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

January 26, 2007

These are the wonderful law of nature or seven spiritual law of success.

Kindly read this article : Seven Spiritual Laws at angelrosemusic.com

Some Insight :

I wrote this in an attempt to understand a lecture given by Depok Chopra. All the ideas and analogies are his.A Spiritual Law is that law which allows the sequential unfoldment from that which is unmanifest into that which is manifest. It is the spontaneous flow of intelligence… energy and information. It exists in everything and is the animating force of life, through which everything in existence is created.The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success are:

1. The Law of Pure Potentiality
2. The Law of Giving
3. The Law of Karma
4. The Law of Least Effort
5. The Law of Intention and Desire
6. The Law of Detachment
7. The Law of Dharma

——-||||||Effective Quotations by Great Thinker||||||——- 

 Gearge Bernard Shaw:::Mahatma Gandhi :::Peter F. Drucker

Emotional Competence Framework for understanding Emotional Intelligence

January 26, 2007

PERSONAL COMPETENCE

Self-Awareness

EMOTIONAL AWARENESS: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects. People with this competence:

  • Know which emotions they are feeling and why
  • Realize the links between their feelings and what they think, do, and say
  • Recognize how their feelings affect their performance
  • Have a guiding awareness of their values and goals

ACCURATE SELF-ASSESSMENT: Knowing one’s strengths and limits. People with this competence are:

  • Aware of their strengths and weaknesses
  • Reflective, learning from experience
  • Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and self-development
  • Able to show a sense of humor and perspective about themselves

SELF-CONFIDENCE: Sureness about one’s self-worth and capabilities. People with this competence:

  • Present themselves with self-assurance; have “presence”
  • Can voice views that are unpopular and go out on a limb for what is right
  • Are decisive, able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties and pressures

Self-Regulation

SELF-CONTROL: Managing disruptive emotions and impulses. People with this competence:

  • Manage their impulsive feelings and distressing emotions well
  • Stay composed, positive, and unflappable even in trying moments
  • Think clearly and stay focused under pressure

TRUSTWORTHINESS: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity. People with this competence:

  • Act ethically and are above reproach
  • Build trust through their reliability and authenticity
  • Admit their own mistakes and confront unethical actions in others
  • Take tough, principled stands even if they are unpopular

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS: Taking responsibility for personal performance. People with this competence:

  • Meet commitments and keep promises
  • Hold themselves accountable for meeting their objectives
  • Are organized and careful in their work

ADAPTABILITY: Flexibility in handling change. People with this competence:

  • Smoothly handle multiple demands, shifting priorities, and rapid change
  • Adapt their responses and tactics to fit fluid circumstances
  • Are flexible in how they see events

INNOVATIVENESS: Being comfortable with and open to novel ideas and new information. People with this competence:

  • Seek out fresh ideas from a wide variety of sources
  • Entertain original solutions to problems
  • Generate new ideas
  • Take fresh perspectives and risks in their thinking

Self-Motivation

ACHIEVEMENT DRIVE: Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence. People with this competence:

  • Are results-oriented, with a high drive to meet their objectives and standards
  • Set challenging goals and take calculated risks
  • Pursue information to reduce uncertainty and find ways to do better
  • Learn how to improve their performance

COMMITMENT: Aligning with the goals of the group or organization. People with this competence:

  • Readily make personal or group sacrifices to meet a larger organizational goal
  • Find a sense of purpose in the larger mission
  • Use the group’s core values in making decisions and clarifying choices
  • Actively seek out opportunities to fulfill the group’s mission

INITIATIVE: Readiness to act on opportunities. People with this competence:

  • Are ready to seize opportunities
  • Pursue goals beyond what’s required or expected of them
  • Cut through red tape and bend the rules when necessary to get the job done
  • Mobilize others through unusual, enterprising efforts

OPTIMISM: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks. People with this competence:

  • Persist in seeking goals despite obstacles and setbacks
  • Operate from hope of success rather than fear of failure
  • See setbacks as due to manageable circumstance rather than a personal flaw

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

Social Awareness

EMPATHY: Sensing others’ feelings and perspective, and taking an active interest in their concerns. People with this competence:

  • Are attentive to emotional cues and listen well
  • Show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives
  • Help out based on understanding other people’s needs and feelings

SERVICE ORIENTATION: Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs. People with this competence:

  • Understand customers’ needs and match them to services or products
  • Seek ways to increase customers’ satisfaction and loyalty
  • Gladly offer appropriate assistance
  • Grasp a customer’s perspective, acting as a trusted advisor

DEVELOPING OTHERS: Sensing what others need in order to develop, and bolstering their abilities. People with this competence:

  • Acknowledge and reward people’s strengths, accomplishments, and development
  • Offer useful feedback and identify people’s needs for development
  • Mentor, give timely coaching, and offer assignments that challenge and grow a person’s skill

.LEVERAGING DIVERSITY: Cultivating opportunities through diverse people. People with this competence:

  • Respect and relate well to people from varied backgrounds
  • Understand diverse worldviews and are sensitive to group differences
  • See diversity as opportunity, creating an environment where diverse people can thrive
  • Challenge bias and intolerance

POLITICAL AWARENESS: Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships. People with this competence:

  • Accurately read key power relationships
  • Detect crucial social networks
  • Understand the forces that shape views and actions of clients, customers, or competitors
  • Accurately read situations and organizational and external realities

Social Skills

INFLUENCE: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion. People with this competence:

  • Are skilled at persuasion
  • Fine-tune presentations to appeal to the listener
  • Use complex strategies like indirect influence to build consensus and support
  • Orchestrate dramatic events to effectively make a point

COMMUNICATION: Sending clear and convincing messages. People with this competence:

  • Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning their message
  • Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly
  • Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully
  • Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news as well as good

LEADERSHIP: Inspiring and guiding groups and people. People with this competence:

  • Articulate and arouse enthusiasm for a shared vision and mission
  • Step forward to lead as needed, regardless of position
  • Guide the performance of others while holding them accountable
  • Lead by example

CHANGE CATALYST: Initiating or managing change. People with this competence:

  • Recognize the need for change and remove barriers
  • Challenge the status quo to acknowledge the need for change
  • Champion the change and enlist others in its pursuit
  • Model the change expected of others

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT: Negotiating and resolving disagreements. People with this competence:

  • Handle difficult people and tense situations with diplomacy and tact
  • Spot potential conflict, bring disagreements into the open, and help deescalate
  • Encourage debate and open discussion
  • Orchestrate win-win solutions

BUILDING BONDS: Nurturing instrumental relationships. People with this competence:

  • Cultivate and maintain extensive informal networks
  • Seek out relationships that are mutually beneficial
  • Build rapport and keep others in the loop
  • Make and maintain personal friendships among work associates

COLLABORATION AND COOPERATION: Working with others toward shared goals. People with this competence:

  • Balance a focus on task with attention to relationships
  • Collaborate, sharing plans, information, and resources
  • Promote a friendly, cooperative climate
  • Spot and nurture opportunities for collaboration

TEAM CAPABILITIES: Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals. People with this competence:

  • Model team qualities like respect, helpfulness, and cooperation
  • Draw all members into active and enthusiastic participation
  • Build team identity, esprit de corps, and commitment
  • Protect the group and its reputation; share credit

© 2004 The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations: Robert Emmerling, Psy.D. :www.eiconsortium.org/