By Anup Vishnu Bagla
The experience of taking a course- Gains from the Practice
How I came to Vipassana?
Vipassana has come naturally to me. I had felt the pulsation’s of Dhamma (spiritual Energy) very early in My life in the late 70’s. I had just passed the Engineering graduation at that time.
Because the Energy-movement and flow was happening now and then, in the downward direction, I wanted to know why it is happening and how to reverse the flow? That was in the late 70’s.
That I was a brilliant and enlightened mind was evident and clear to me because of my experience of all understanding bright intellect and experience of sunshine in the consciousness, along with unbounded awareness and feeling of oneness with all nature and existence.
Having said this, it was also clear that I was going down (energies were going down) due to worldly personal challenging situations, which were not balanced and satisfactory.
Even so because of understanding and awareness of LIFE ENERGY / FORCE (VITAL CERBRO-SPINAL FLUID; C-S FLUID); Nature was balancing / reversing the flow of life and this was experienced in consciousness.
That time, I didn’t know that I was experiencing Vipassana. Slowly due to various worldly experiences / frustrations, tensions were building up.
But it was clear that it was my responses or feelings, which were responsible for tensions.
As, I started going down, I was looking for something to reverse the flow and come out. As, if directed by nature / natural Intelligence during the mid 80’s, I came across articles on Vipassana in weekly ‘Dharmyug’ and also saw poster invitation for a talk / lecture by Goenkagee during my stay at I.I.T., New Delhi.
I felt an invisible / irresistible attraction and urge to go for the course as if drawn by Nature. But due to personal / worldly circumstances, I could not join the course.
Came 1990, again in Hyderabad I attended a talk by Goenkajee. And every word, he spoke left an indelible impression on my mind as if he was opening the locks of inner consciousness by the key of Vipassana.
All through during past years I was thirsting to attend a course. Finally I made up mind to join the first 10 – day course in September 1990 at Hyderabad, India.
On the first and second day of Anna-Panna, so many thoughts, worries were present that it was difficult to be aware of the breadth on a continuous basis.
And, during one hour sitting, it was difficult, very difficult, and sometimes almost impossible to sit because of pain in the legs. But strong determination which I had, helped me.
I was working more on thought at mental level. It was clear that, at that time I had no experience of Anichha. I had to tolerate that pain on the 3rd and 4th day also.
But, slowly intensity of pain reduced and packets of energy started flowing upwards from within the pain. And pain seemed to be coming and going moment to moment.
This was my first experience of anichha consciously. Although I may have experienced changing phenomenon earlier, I didn’t become aware of it consciously as a reality in the mind / body system.
It became very clear that when I was generating dislike (dwesha) towards the pain, it was becoming more intense, whereas when I started tolerating the pain, the intensity reduced.
And as I stopped generating dwesha (dislike) towards pain with the understanding of anichha, I could sit easily for one hour and I could feel the moving flow of energy upward.
So this was great enlightenment that if I generate dwesha (dislike), pain returns. Similarly, when I generated dwesha towards worldly situations in my personal life or otherwise there would be pain.
And it seemed generating dwesha and anger had become the habit pattern of mind. And anger seemed to be quite reasonable, as many times the situations were very unfair.
But was it really necessary to generate anger / dwesha in order to deal with an adverse situation. May be not. Perhaps, I did not know the art of dealing with the situation and responding.
However, it was very clear that it was thoughts and feelings of negative nature / quality, which was creating Unhappiness & unbalance. But something ought to be done. Mental strength had to be restored to respond to the situation.
In the next 6 days, recharging of mental batteries (energies) continued.
I felt the flow all the time. Only when I started generated raga, desire or control or I-myness, the flow seemed to stop or diminish
Therefore, now it was very clear that if we entertain negative thoughts of anger, hatred, ill -will, animosity, we become tense, unhappy and start going down.
So, if somebody cheats you, does injustice to you, we have to learn to forgive and forget, as it is a changing phenomenon. This allows the natural Intelligence to pass the judgment in our favor.
For this, it is necessary to to annihilate / dissolve the ego. The whole sadhana is to eliminate ego and develop LOVE, COMPASSION, SYMPATHETIC JOY, and SAMATA OR EQUANIMITY.
The greatest gain / achievement was consciously applying the experience of anichha (impermanence) in day to day life in the midst of stressful situation to reduce pain/strain by maintaining anichha (impermanence), Balance i.e., samata or equanimity.
It was just the change in / of attitude. Meditation made my mental energies or prana body very sensitive as I was always living in Energy consciousness – moment to moment.
Thus, I have done 8 … 10-day course and one satipathana course, 2 – 20 days courses and 2 Seva in last 15 years and have always felt recharged.
Still, lot of tireless work and continuous practice for lifetime remains to consolidate the gains from dhamma – home of all Natural laws, creative principle / Intelligence and evolutionary forces of nature, which Jesus – the Christ (principle) called Kingdom of heaven and BK’s call shantidham or paramdham.
May All Beings Be Happy, peaceful and liberated .
.. Anup Vishnu Bagla
Changing the world one (hyper) link at a time …
—-||||||Effective Quotations by Great Thinker||||||——- Gearge Bernard Shaw:::Mahatma Gandhi ::: Swami Vivekananda
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